Which is why I don't post more often.

Two things prompted this. First, http://www.9news.com/rss/article.aspx?storyid=122082. This is such a beautiful middle finger to Washington's crack-headed war on drugs. Now, I'm not a drug user nor do I condone drug use. That said, a person's own preference to their recreation and enjoyment is their own business, not mine. So many issues could be immediately solved by rescinding all drug laws and freeing all non-violent non-criminals currently in prison due to drug charges, such as overcrowding in prisons, obscene legal processes and times, and exorbitant criminal rates due almost entirely to the underground drug trade. I enthusiastically support Denver's bold step in telling the Feds to go fly a kite. I imagine Washington's response will be less than kind. I can't wait.

Second, I have an idea for a story, so I'm writing it here. Main Character is hired to guard a peculiar, very rich, very old man. Man is convinced that the world is out to get him. Do not see man until later in story (covered head to toe). When uncovered, MC realizes the man looks like he's 30 years old and in peak physical condition. Man explains that he made a deal with Time a very long *ahem* time ago; he traded Time something he wanted desperately (figuring out what at the moment) and Time granted him freedom from his effects. The Man does not age. In effect, he is immortal. However, another entity, Death, didn't so much like this deal and has been ramping up his efforts to kill the old Man gradually as years have passed. MC does not believe the bit about Death until it becomes apparent that strange accidents happen around the Man and people are very interested in taking him down.

Could go somewhere; who knows?

This excites me: http://www.schiffforsenate.com/

Remember those school lessons you got on human genetics? How inherited traits are passed from your forebears via information stored in DNA spooled tightly in chromosomes? Remember hearing that such traits were unalterable, such as a family history of cancer, diabetes, obesity, or high blood pressure? Remember also hearing that on the plus side, negative behaviors, such as overeating, during your life are not traits stored in your genes and passed to your children?

Think again. The following is an article on epigenetics, a blisteringly new field of medical research that studies the effects of modern-day living and current pharmaceutical agents on the human genome. The eventual hope? That doctors will be able to entirely pre-empt disease by writing your perceived weakness to it straight out of your genes.

http://www.lewrockwell.com/sardi/sardi112.html

It's news like this that really makes me consider medicine as a profession. This stuff's just cool. I'll also confess I read as much by Bill Sardi as I can. Would that this man were my doctor!

It's my opinion that anyone who values the freedom their internets provide them should outright oppose the measures Washington is taking to curtail such free-wheeling environments: http://www.washingtonpost.com/wp-dyn/content/article/2009/05/12/AR2009051201743.html

I'm already aware of the government-appointed domestic spies in the online games I play. I hope my chat logs provide them many hours of painfully uncomfortable reading.

I love the logic present in this article, though. A 'Cyber Czar' (we are Russia, by the by) is needed to enhance national security against possible state-sponsored hackers. What would such hackers do to the unassuming, vulnerable American populace? Nothing. Would these unseen threats target our financial institutions, our online databases like Wikipedia, or our workplace files? No.

What would they target? If anything, the government itself. So, basically, what is being bandied about as national security is, in fact, security for the bigwigs in Washington. But I forget myself. Washington is The Nation now.

Taking bets now. Is there anyone out there who believes these powers won't be misused or in any way impact a single thing they do on the internet? I'm going to challenge you to lay down some cash on that one.

I'm a libertarian. Pretty die-hard, too. I read a lot, keep myself well-informed of current political happenings, economic moves, and the whatnot. Had I more money, I'd be investing. Alas, it is hard to find a free-market economist who wrote a book about investing for $1,000. With commodities being a hot item these days, that amount buys me a sneezeable quantity of gold. Not exactly something that thrills me...

Being a libertarian in NYC feels much like living the life of an underground railroad operator in border and Southern states during the mid 1800s. You know the actions and thoughts you've partaken in are demonized by a majority of the populace around you. You do it anyway because you know it's right, based on your understanding of civilization, society, and plain human decency. However, you're forced to go about your beliefs quietly. I work in a not-for-profit in the Lower East Side of Manhattan. How do you think it would go over were my coworkers suddenly to realize I demonize government intervention and advocate the abolition of state-supported... anything? Yeah, about that well.

One of the most annoying challenges, and probably the main reason I keep my economic and political beliefs to myself, is that people inevitably feel the need to try and shoot holes in my ideas for a political structure. I confess, this provides some pretty invigorating banter, until I realize I'm never going to be able to convince the other side of anything while simultaneously having to defend myself and respond to points made that grossly generalize information and are not backed by any credible historical or empirical evidence. Once I pass that point I generally just shut up and try to steer away from the topic. I pick my battles.

The most common tactic used in these conversations against me is picking one part of a system with which I have grevious issue, holding it up, and proclaiming "What about X?" If I stop to think, I'm usually assailed with the belief that X is inviolate and true and because of that, the rest of the alphabet (i.e., the entire system) is validated. If I'm going to repudiate the "infallibility" of X, I like to try and get my sources straight and my research done. I do my homework. I prefer to engage in a battle of wits with a Howitzer, say thankya. This ad hominem style of argumentation gets really dull, really fast.

Since the speed of my responses seems to gauge my apparent proficiency with a subject (and my all-around knowledge, studliness, and massive sex appeal), I'm adopting the following response as my boilerplate whenever I'm assailed with this tactic. For this example, let's pretend someone's daring me to refute minimum wage laws, arguing their benefits for society and ensuring a higher standard of living for everyone*. If I pause, I am clearly in the wrong, so without pause, my response is:

Let's move back for a second. Your argument can be boiled down to the following: "Stop being silly. It's just a few grains of sand. Eating sand won't kill you." You're right, in a sense. Anyone who's ever been to the ocean and had a picnic knows what it's like to get sand in your sandwich. It's crunchy, unpleasant, and bland, but it's not fatal. Sand-in-food morbidity rates aren't reported with any degree of seriousness. By that logic, you're asking me to eat X, in this case minimum wage laws, because it's apparently good, and even if it's not it won't do any harm. Well, X is part of the system. No, eating a few grains of sand won't kill me. You're not just asking me to eat a few grains of sand, though.

What you're asking me to do is eat the beach.

*As I wrote this, I realized that minimum wage laws were a TERRIBLE example. I already have responses to that subject of discussion ready to go and would, in all likelihood, respond quickly and fare quite well! I probably should've picked a more nebulous subject on which I'm not as well-versed, like intellectual property rights and copyright.

No, I haven't posted in a few weeks. I'm stupid busy.

Stay tuned.

...I guess I'll update this blasted thing. Not much to report, though. Work's still busy, though not soul-crushingly so, and I have another upcoming month of fright and mania as it's quite likely up to 3 public grants will be shovelled onto my little head.

In the meantime, I've been cleaning up, clearing a head cold, and generally preparing for my beautiful girlfriend to land sometime in the near future. The fun begins then.

I'm boring this week. Public grants rob me of my personality. In lieu of anything witty or original, go follow this link:
http://www.lewrockwell.com/orig6/jewell2.html and tell me how many books on that list you've read or have read excerpts from. I'm pretty amused that I've got at least a passing acquaintance with, if not a downright thorough knowledge of, at least a third of the books listed. Seems I'm a bit more well-read than I thought.

The author's correct, too. When you beat someone down with quotes from Shakespeare, they've really got no way to come back without seeming at least as intelligent or well-versed. Since they're usually not, they just sulk away, leaving you smug and satisfied.

It's always funny to watch the reactions of people around me as I get more and more stressed out.

To wit: I have exceptionally well-developed stress coping mechanisms. I don't freak out, I don't lose my shit. If I need a purge of panic and anxiety, I just sequester myself for a little bit, punch stuff, grunt, then compose.

My dad growing up was a horrid stress monkey and managed it poorly. I resolved never to be like that. In a grand jest of the Universe's sense of irony, my personality type seeks out stressful situations. Whoops.

Even though I constantly mire myself in stress, I manage it well. However, I display a profound shift in behavior. I am more likely to speak in clipped, curt tones. My opinion of everyone surrounding me plummets (I don't claim any of this to be valid feelings, but they do exist for me). I move much faster and pretend I breath fire. I'm virtually unafraid of the consequences of my actions, which can lead to me doing ill-advised things while stressed.

I also speak in metaphor. True, I use more metaphors than your average dolt. When I'm stressed, though, I speak almost exclusively in metaphor. This can lead people with a surly disposition, a linear viewpoint on life, or a fixed sense of humor to experience extreme difficulty in communicating with me. They can't understand that I'm quite literally punning (def: a play on words, which works for this description as for me it's a play on imagery) my condition and that of everything around me. People with a vivacious personality, a sunny outlook, or an overall abundance of energy have found this to be, on occasion, hilarious.

Within 5 minutes I compared our organization's budget to a shit pile so profound flowers in Africa are wilting and my mental state to a slab of steak that happened on a pack of rabid wolves.

If I'm stressed, it damn well better entertain everyone else enough to stay the fuck out of my way!

...but I don't have the time.

Instead, read this: http://www.dailymail.co.uk/news/worldnews/article-1162384/EU-bans-use-Miss-Mrs-sportsmen-statesmen-claims-sexist.html

If you think that Europe's just crazy and it won't happen to us, just wait.

-I leave for Arizona tomorrow at 8 55 AM NY time. Traveling is somewhat stressful for me when I'm doing it on my own, mostly because I have to rely entirely on myself and I have a habit of forgetting little things (like a toothbrush) or not-so-little things (like my plane ticket; this has only ALMOST happened). It also means I have to make all arrangements myself, which is trying since I lead a fairly busy life. On the plus side, I will be wrapped up in a beautiful woman in just over 28 hour's time.

-Because of my impending trip, I cannot motivate to get *anything* done today, even simple tasks. I'd much rather be out of the office already, tying up a few last-minute loose ends. Or doing laundry. Yeah, laundry. I'm also on the hunt for a good, engaging PSP game to entertain my sleep-deprived brain on the plane ride, especially since my DS disappeared to the Warp in September (and the urge to play Chrono Trigger is quite rapidly rising). Hopefully I didn't leave that sucker in Maryland.

-I will have to do some minor work while on vacation. It sucks. I'll probably hammer it out when Nicole has to work, since none of my friends are really available while I'm down.

-I like cheap transportation. The bus to LaGuardia costs $2.00 (but I have a monthly pass; eat it) and stops 20 blocks away from my house, which is a short subway ride or a hop in a cab away. This means I have to leave about an hour later than I thought I did. Bonus.

Things are really busy right now. 8 grants are due before the end of March, with 4-6 of them being due before I leave for Arizona.

Amidst all of this, I thought of a question while I was working today. It's a common sci-fi trope to engage a "self destruct sequence" towards the end of a fictional production, mostly to heighten the dramatic stakes without requiring anything of the characters (we in the biz call this cheating).

Looking around for real life examples, though, I can't see any reason why someone would have one of these things installed! Take, for example, Alien. The crew is part of a mining ship. How many mining trucks do you know of that can detonate their engine? Cruise liners? Airplanes?

Military vessels don't count. I'm looking for real life examples of things that can, via a user interface, self-destruct. I want to know why writers keep thinking we'll put that bloody idiotic function in our space age technology.

...or does it?

I don't really have insomnia. My sleep schedule just isn't what people consider to be normal. Left to my own devices, I gravitate towards a stay-up-late/sleep-late schedule. I also start working on a 26 hour schedule compared to the standard 24 hour day (which gets bloody annoying). Insomnia is where you can't sleep. I just  can't sleep on command.

Suffice to say, there are nights where my mind knows it should be asleep while my body politely (and then stubbornly, then rudely, and finally flat-out) declines.

Like last night. I'd be more if I could still summon an impersonation of expressive range. Cleared 22 hours now and am still stuck at work for at least another 5.

Totally not as young as I used to be, though. Going for 22 hours without sleep used to be de rigeur. Now it's bloody painful.

The downside: I'm about 75% slower than normal. The upside: I'm still faster than anyone reasonably expects. Have to be: just got saddled with 6 more tasks due this week in addition to the between 5 and 9 proposal items I have to have drafted/completed before I leave for Arizona.

*update* Cleared 27 hour, no sleep. Stomach's wonky, eyes hurt, definitely fatigued, but am still far more awake than I thought I'd be. I'm also highly focused (because to lose focus would knock me out) and talk a mile a minute, with little room for unclear words. It's kind of fun. I'm highly aggressive, however, so be warned. My fuse today is not a long one.

On another note... VINDICATION! http://news.bbc.co.uk/2/hi/health/7896441.stm

"Engaging in a hobby like reading a book, making a patchwork quilt or even playing computer games can delay the onset of dementia, a US study suggests. "

At the rate I consume graphic novels, novel novels, and works of fiction, both pixilated and non, I should be hitting dementia and memory degredation at about... oh, say, the year 4268. That's also assuming someone doesn't get me Katamari Damaci with a VR rig.

I arrived at work yesterday to find out I'd managed to land $375,000 for my organization through two of the grants I wrote. Faithful readers will remember my constant whinging about one of our grantors rescheduling meetings at the last minute. My tenactiy's paid off, and handsomely at that. Big grants underline my value to the agency and provide a much-needed buffer against random, inane crap hitting me. People care much less about the minute details, such as "how are your papers organized" and "oh, why didn't you read my mind and do this task three days ago like I willed you to" when you land a big one.

That's not to say it's less stressful around here. I still have between 5-8 grants due over the next 5 weeks. For the uninitiated, that's an obscene amount of work. Oh, to be a contractor again...

In other news, life outside of work progresses slowly. I've been without Internet at my apartment for nearly a week now. This was caused by a cavalcade of chicanery I'd rather not get into. Idiocy abounds. Kids: if you have automatic payments and your bank has recently been bought out/merged/sold for toilet paper, MAKE SURE your payments are still being processed. I'm fastidious about checking up on my automated payments, which is why I always get chafed when others... aren't.

My darling girlfriend is alive and well and living in Mesa. I'll be visiting her in a little over 14 days. This distance thing can suck a long one. Fortunately, we're easily enthralled by the sounds of each other's (and our own... gogo ego!) voices and random internet crap, which definitely takes the bite out of 2,000+ miles of fuck-all between us. I'd still rather take a bite out of her. Before you ask, no, I do not have a 2,000+ mile long jaw. Yes, it would be exceedingly manly.

I leave you with yet another gem I've found while perusing the internet. There are a few issues that hit me very close to home. I'm not crazy about cruelty to animals (particularly cats). I'm rigidly anti-war, anti-military, and anti-draft. I abhor corporatism and dream of a day where everyone can engage in free trade with each other, without obscene favors being granted through federal laws. However, as a writer, nothing quite gets my gumption like State-mandated book burning: http://www.city-journal.org/2009/eon0212wo.html. For the analyzation that I whole-heartedly agree with, here's one of my all-time favorites, Gary North: http://www.lewrockwell.com/north/north688.html.

I am all for the free determination of a group of people to restrict or outlaw a book or books within their respective community, provided *everyone* is in agreement. I stand boldly against laws and restrictions such as this. It's only a matter of time before another concocted health issue or scare allows lawmakers and bureaucrats the authority to "regulate" and restrict even more creative sources. I'm still waiting for the day photos of the statue of David are outlawed because the guy's got a penis. Gotta be careful of all those delicate sensibilities out there.

Holy Fuck I Love The Internet:



Apparently, this one's real. From Texas, to boot!



This one makes me think of my darling girlfriend:



This is my new forums sig:







Good luck saying this one 3 times fast:



Yes, it's true. If I had the cash, my computer room would look like this (minus the vaio):












And finally, I leave you with:

I'll forget to post this unless I do it now: my cousin's coming in to town what looks to be this weekend. In the interests of keeping her the hell away from my cavernous apartment that's in dire need of a broom, I'm looking to actually be out and about the city.

Suggestions on what I can do on the cheap (relatively) would be appreciated. Of course, you're welcome to stop on by if'n ya want, but this'll probably necessitate going to the City.

In other news:
-Plane's booked to see my darling girlfriend (omfg can't wait) March 5-9, leaving on the 10. Smack dab in the middle of proposal season. This, kids, is what we call "threading the needle." Not that other thing you were just thinking of.

-As my bottom post suggests, I'm extremely stressed at work, causing me to go into near-catatonic states when not working. If I'm aloof or distant, that's probably why.

-To top it all off, my mind's all over the map, what with thinking the next few months out and other such stuff. I'll be myself in a week or so when I've got some semblance of a stranglehold over my working life. Stress makes my mind do funny things. o.O

-As an aside, I got two nifty story ideas: one where someone's sweat actually starts corroding materials around him (okay, there's no story here yet but it's a neat image) and one where someone actually gets to meet their guardian angel, who fucks up and has to stop time in order to save them. There's something bigger here that's scratching at the back of my head, but all my initial suppositions are shit-filled torpedoes destined to do little more than fertilize an ocean bed. I'd like to think I'm going to do something further with these, so I will. Odds are work will overtake me, leaving me little desire to do much but stare at the walls after work and drool slightly.

At least I'm still going to the gym. /flex

Anyone in the wide world of internets need a writer? Like, seriously?

Yeah, I'm that exasperated. Stress-induced fatigue incites mass texting looking for work.

Blaaaaargh.

I'll get put in prison on charges of crimes against humanity, it'll be that brutal.

Via a keylogger or a Trojan that Avast! didn't pick up, someone managed to hack into my Yahoo account and alter my personal information, effectively shutting me out. Clever.

Well, I fought back. Instead of affecting helplessness, I immediately shifted *all* critical passwords to entirely brand-new passwords (which I'll be fucked to remember for a few weeks, say thankya). I unlinked my personal accounts from the compromised account.

The net damage? Lost a few things easily replaced on my WoW account and they changed my Yahoo mail name to something childish. Obviously, it was a targeted attack simply because I have online gaming accounts that they were trying to access. Only a few requested password changes were made while my account was out of my control, all to gaming sites. It spurred me to action because it could've been much, much worse. I got everything switched quickly (within less than 24 hours of a breach in security) and the damages are minimal.

I believe I isolated and removed the program that granted access. Not satisfied, because such an intrusion is quite unsettling when you can't script your own BiOS, I wiped my entire hard drive. I'm pretty satisfied now, though I do have to reinstall everything.

I got an email at 3 30am last night (after I went to sleep) that a password change had been requested again for my WoW account. Too bad I'd nailed customer support beforehand and switched my email related to the account. Hope that one was a bitter pill to swallow. I'll have to reshift my password yet again when I get home, but this time this fucker doesn't have a chance at it and he HAS to know it.

Now, to the follow-up. I'm most likely going to migrate away from my Yahoo account as I don't trust their security services. I'm open to suggestions for other carriers.

And I swear to god, if I ever find the wriggling little shit that jacked my password and caused me this fine and dandy headache, I will personally tear his jugular out through his rectum and tie his spilled guts in a bow around his ankles, just so I can make him hobble up and down the sidewalk while he bleeds out. I've a respect for high scale, fine thievery, like regaled tales of jewel heists. It's almost like an art (private property issues aside, you're always secretly rooting for the rogue jewel thief). This was little more than slapdash thuggery, the spineless kind I cannot tolerate. Such acts can only elict the fiercest and most destructive response possible from me. If I could trace him back to the source... well, you'd be reading about it, that's for sure.

Well, it seems something rather... odd may have happened to my Yahoo account. As of tonight, my password isn't being accepted. I hope that's a system error on their end. If not, I *strongly* advise anyone who knows my yahoo information to a.) disregard any messages they receive from me on Yahoo Messenger and b.) do not open *any* emails or attachments from said email account unless they're dated before yesterday/today. I used my account as recently as yesterday, which is why I'm ker-puzzled as to how this took affect so swiftly.

I'm also in the market for someone who knows how to root out keyloggers and other crap like that.

I'll confirm with an all clear when I have this rectified. I'd change my password, but I can't remember the bloody zip code that's currently in Yahoo's database. God only knows what it is.